ALL OF US ARE PRONE TO SELF-PITY
In fact we are born being self-centered. A baby cries and screams if he or she does not get their way. We learn to manulipate early. It is a part of our old nature that never dies. The only way to be free from it in small measure is to "die toward it."
When we "die" so to speak, we deny something. We reject whatever it is that does not conform to the things Scripture tells us is good and glorifies God.
We want our "rights," and we are convienced that we have a right to those "rights." If anyone interfers with our rights we do not display patience and lovingkindness. We display hostility, anger, disappointment, irritation and the like.
The biggest clue that self-pity is not of God is the word self. Self-pity causes us to obsess and sulk over our hurts. We want our way, always!
Our sinful flesh does not please God. It may please us for a short period of time but it really does not give us lasting happiness and pleasure.
If you recognize the "self" in your behavior, pray to God. Ask Him to help you turn from sin and turn to Him. Ask Him to help you surrender your old nature to Him and take on His new nature.
And by the way, if we are not in His Word we will have know idea what God wants us to put off and put on.
Pray often about specific sins...name them. Call them what the Bible calls them. Confess them to God. Confess them to your mate and ask him or her to pray for you and help you.